Tuesday, January 26, 2010


Brrrrr.... the coldest day of my life to this point. I knew this day was coming.... the last time I would see her. I truly dreaded this day.

With only ten minutes notice... def con 5... preparing missiles for launch.... the end is near.

Good thing I was prepared.... with a carefully thought out note kept in my pocket for just such an emergency. I'd thought about how this moment would go for months. And given how things have gone between us in the past couple of years... I was prepared for the worst. And that is exactly what I got.

I waited for her outside the door. Not many words were spoken and she did not look at me. It was obvious she had no interest in saying goodbye to me. I handed her the note... which was apologetic, poetic, sweet and loving. She said "take care" and walked away. That was it. Not sure she even read the note. Bad ending. But at least it is an ending. Finally.

I don't think I will ever truly understand what happened between us. In a months time we went from making plans to barely speaking. I understood why we couldn't be together but I didn't understand being treated differently by someone who Loved me so much. Too painful to look at me, talk to me, be around me? Or she just didn't love me anymore. I don't know..... and hopefully now that it is over, at some point I won't care anymore.

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