Saturday, May 9, 2009


I just can't seem to get over it....

It all started when I was very young. Watching my my dad be just plain nice to everyone he came in contact with. Everyone has always instantly loved my "dad".... or as I've been told since I've gotten older, my twin brother from a different era. He always made sure my mom was happy no matter what, and I have always remembered and noticed that.

I have so many things I want to say... but it would take forever..

Somehow I knew when I was eight or so, what I wanted. Needed. I listened to songs and understood exactly why they were written, watched movies and wanted that perfect scene to happen to me. Life is not a song or movie or fairy tale... I know this, but if you find your other half... it can be pretty close. I waited so long for that to happen. Always conscious of everyone else's feelings along the way. I waited and waited and it found me. I had absolutely no doubt that I would never Love anyone else, and that THIS was the first time I had really been in Love.

Now it seems like she hates me cause I still Love her. I know she doesn't but it feels that way. It didn't end badly... it just had to end. The problem is that I was sure that it would never end. Everything I have believed in since I was young has turned out to be wrong. Being perfect, being the best thing ever and just plain Loving someone unconditionally, no matter what, isn't enough.

Since the end of my fairy tale, I have been paying alot more attention to other people and their relationships. No one is truly happy in the end. There is always something or someone else.


I really don't know where to go from here. I had what I wanted and nothing else could compare.