Some things stay broken.

.... my favorite wine glass lay shattered on the floor. I quickly picked up the pieces, trying to pretend that it didn't happen. But it did. I'm pretty good at fixing things, but it's no use. If I put it back together it won't be the same. It will always leak and I will surely be cut. I will carry the pieces around with me forever. I'll reach deep into my pocket and squeeze the pieces until my hand bleeds. And remember how I loved touching my lips to that beautiful glass. I don't know if I will ever find another one. For now I have stopped drinking wine all together. I still Love that perfect wine glass deeply.... but it will always be broken.

St. Valentines day..... I have mixed emotions about this holiday. Is it a celebration of Love or a reason for people to do and say things that they usually don't. I'm thinking the latter describes what most people use this holiday for. HAVE TO go get the significant other flowers or some piece of jewelry. I suppose it is a good way to make sure the people you care about in life, know you care about them. But then again if they don't already know.... you're doing something wrong the rest of the time. This may be my one sided, possibly unattainable fairy tale view on how things should be. Every day is Valentines day.... without an ounce of wonder as to how the other person feels or what they think. Truly and simply needing someone, and knowing they need you. Doing things that suck to make the others life easier..... with a smile and no complaints because it makes them happy. Selfless acts of kindness and Love without any forethought. Giving all of your heart, soul and mind to someone with no closed doors.

I think there are a lot of people out there that don't really know what Love is. And they never will... they don't have it in them. They are more worried about themselves than others. And I think that Valentines day has turned into a way for stores to get these people to do something "nice" once a year.

I have most definitely been shot by cupids arrow before..... and in the end it damn near killed me. Do they make arrow proof vests? Think I'll check into that.

Happy St. Valentines day to all the people who will act the same the rest of the year.

Empty Tank

Navigating my way through life today, that feeling began to creep in. That empty feeling. It was of course, something she said that caused this. She didn't mean to I'm sure. She has forgotten how seriously I take things and how well I listen. And then examine every word to find some true meaning or emotion behind it. It's hard for me to believe she meant what she said.... That would go against everything she thought, believed, and felt before. All I've needed, is to believe that if things were different, we would have been perfectly happy forever... She took that away from me today..... whether she meant to or not.... and left me empty.